Pretty Little Liars . . . I Know What You Did Last UGHmer?

This show. This show, this show, this show. So, we were treated to a dramatic ending last week. The girls found evidence that “A” broke into Spencer’s house and left a threatening lipstick message on a mirror. So, I think at the very least, the girls decide to tell people what’s going on? Maybe alert Detective Sweet Balls or Dr. Cool Accent or Mr. Fitz or something? Obviously, they wouldn’t just hang out in the house that was broken into, right?

Oh, they did just hang around? Okay. It actually makes sense since if someone who may wish death on you was breaking into your house, the best course of action is definitely waiting around in the house and falling asleep. Very logical course of action.

Pretty Little Liars. . .It’s Like That Van Halen Song

This week on Pretty Little Liars, the girls took matters into their OWN HANDS concerning their harassment from an unknown entity so far only known as “A.” Did they go to the police? Tell a parent or sexy teacher about their troubles? Form an angry mob and march on A’s hideout? No, they actually just blocked all electronic messages (texts, e-mails, IM’s) from A. That’s good! It will help them from feeling terrorized all the time. But what if A has an important message like “Heads up, girls. I’m about to murder you, FYI.” Is it better to know that your unseen aggressor is going to make an attempt on your life? These are the tough questions that Pretty Little Liars asks.

Pretty Little Liars. . . Harper Lee Must Be Psyched About This

RECAP: At the end of last week’s episode (or two weeks, I need to do better keeping this schedule), Spencer sees blind Jenna SENDING A TEXT MESSAGE. The closing shots made this out as a damning confirmation that Jenna was posing as the girls’ dead friend to freak them out. How would our heroines deal with this information?

They would not. They do not. They go into the woods. To perform a  ritual? Hopefully. I want this show to turn into The Craft: The Series so badly.

Pretty Little Liars. . . That Girl Is Totally Not Blind

The first episode of Pretty Little Liars posed a lot of questions. Unlike most television shows, this one decided to answer some of these questions in the latest episode. Do we find out who the blind girl is and what made her blind? Do we discover who sent the mysterious text messages? Do we learn the first name of Mr. Fitz, that is a totally traditional and normal combination of names? Do we meet more characters?

Yes. Yes to all these questions. And more!

Pretty Little Liars. . . Because There Is Nothing Else To Do In Pennsylvania

You know what I hate? I hate when you are hanging out with your friends in a barn next to one of your friend’s houses during a storm, listening to this song, drinking some nondescript alcohol and telling SECRETS, then everybody falls asleep and then you wake up and two of your friends are missing and then you find out one of your friends was searching for the other friend (so you only have really one missing friend, cool deal) and can’t find them and then you all drift apart for the summer or year (I am not really sure of the timeframe) and then everyone comes back from Reykjavik and it turns out your missing friend who was missing is now your missing friend who was murdered but she’s still sending you threatening text messages written by someone featured in Super Sweet 16 and whoops, you are fucking your English teacher. I hate that.

Oh, that’s this show? Sign me up.