Gossip Girl: Return of the Jenny

Sometimes, television writers have to write characters out of episodes so an actor can pursue other endeavors. This happened with Gossip Girl‘s writers in the case of Taylor Momsen, who has been spending a good deal of time with her band, The Pretty Reckless. She also flashes concertgoers now, sort of. For these real life reasons, Jenny Humphrey had to leave the show. In the show’s continuity, her absence is explained in her parents sending her up the Hudson River because she slept with Chuck Bass. However, this week, Jenny comes back for a college interview! New York will rest easy as Jenny’s raccoon-fashioned eyes gaze upon its busy streets.

Juliet is having some problems lying to Nate. She may really be falling for him! Her brother is upset about this. What I am upset about is how we have not addressed that Juliet’s brother and Juliet made vaguely sexual comments to each other a few weeks ago. This whole thing is fishy and weird and Juliet looks way older than everyone else on the show and her brother doesn’t look like what I would expect a melodramatic young person show prison inmate would look like (Volcheck is what that looks like).

Juliet’s prison brother(?) finds out that Nate’s dad is in the same prison, so he “jumps” him. We all know what that means in fake prison so let us just move along to Nate and his dad having a heart to heart in the prison. It’s a good thing that Nate was alerted to his dad’s assault because Juliet was just about to explain what the fuck.

Serena, after vowing not to be wooed by the roundabout charms of Smiley guy, ends up here

This is a shocking development because Serena has never gone back on her word like this.

Turns out, Smiley Guy is the new professor for that “class” that Blair and Chuck were trying to get into last episode. It is so easy to teach at Columbia on television (I’m looking at you, Ted Mosby).

Serena has a choice between Smiley Guy and being a serious student. With the dean breathing down her neck (like that movie in that Simpsons’ episode where Homer goes to college), Serena thinks she will be responsible by dropping the class, continuing her affair, and wearing this

Lily sees what is happening to her daughter. She administers some reverse psychology by telling Serena that she is not capable of serious academic study. Boom. Roasted. Serena takes this talk, keeps the class, and ends it with Smiley Guy. I bet we will never see him again until he takes a weird role in Juliet’s family plan at the end of the episode to further confuse everyone.

Jenny’s back for an interview for Parsons the New School for Design. Chuck accidentally takes her portfolio, so Jenny has to run across town to get it before the interview.

Blair finds out that she is back in town. Since that violates one of Blair’s edicts, she sets out to ruin the interview.

The interview is going well, Jenny wowing Project Runway‘s Tim Gunn with her maturity, insight and enthusiasm. So, why don’t we see some of Jenny’s work?

WHAT

WHAT

SHOCK

I AM SHOCKED

OUT OF HERE, LITTLE J

YOU GET NOTHING. YOU LOSE. GOOD DAY, MISS.

I SAID GOOD DAY.

Blair shows up to gloat. Dan’s pissed. Jenny’s pissed. Chuck’s pissed. If only there was a party that Tim Gunn would attend later in the day where everyone could explain the situation and get Jenny another chance. . .

Oh thank gosh, Isaac Mizrahi is there!

Oh hey, Tim!

So, Jenny explains everything and Tim says that it is good they cleared things up. When he got a call from Chuck Bass,- wait? Chuck set up the interview! Scandal!

This and Blair being mean leads Jenny to send out a GG blast about why she wasn’t allowed to stay in New York City. Blair looks bad and Chuck looks bad, but Dan focuses on being disappointed in Jenny. She should have never taken power for that situation! Bad Jenny! Back upstate you go.

Anyway, we end with Juliet in Smiley Guy’s place, Smiley Guy paying Juliet for something. I am so confused.

NEXT WEEK: Everyone doesn’t have sex but that is HOT.

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