The Siege Is Watching . . . Entourage: CATORCE

Another week, another ‘Tourage (that’s what the sexy people call it) recap by Bentley Siege. Where the Pretty Little Liars at?! Just playin’!

Man, things are CHANGING this week for the boys. E is setting about to revive Drama’s career, Ari is setting about to bring an NFL team to LA, and Turtle is setting about going to Mexico! Who would have thought that after seven seasons the boys would be on top of the world? Let’s get to the bizz-nass.

Vince takes a week off from having a nervous breakdown/ maybe concussion/ probably neither to just sit back and smell the roses. Like this rose

Damn. I mean, Dayum.

E takes the week off from being a whiney bitch (Just playin’ E! But you are being kind of a bitch) to sort things out with Vince’s other co-manager. I think he’s a co-manager but I have no idea how Hollywood works. I have iterated this before, but Scott Lavin is like Ari but younger and not as good a guy.

Eventually, everyone makes up in a classic Entourage way. Let’s go to Vegas everyone! Except E? I guess E keeps dancing on his own.

Turtle is out of the picture for most of the episode as he travels to Mexico with Alex for a potential business opportunity. Turtle is weary because it’s Mexico and there are no legitimate businesses there, scientifically. However, Alex assures him that this is a legitimate opportunity. It is. It involves a great Mexican tequila company that is not run by Sammy Hagar (who?).

Even though Alex has repeatedly told Turtle that she is interested in him neither sexually nor romantically, like Jim from The Office, he persists. Reach for yo dreams, Turtle! Alex begins to warm up to Turtle and maybe his penis. It’s a double-edged penis, though! Alex wants Turtle to get Vince to be a spokesman for the tequila. Hollywood 101: The easiest way to get spokespeople is to take their friends to Mexico and feign romantic interest in them. Turtle feels bad about this series of events and thinks about selling out while drinking Vitamin Water (R) on his Tempur-pedic (R) bed while wearing a Snuggie (R).

Ari hosts a meeting trying to get funding for his NFL Team. His pitch? Give me your money, I will spend it on things well. Great pitch man. He should teach a REAL class. The Siege would sign up, no doubt.

Lots of faces at his meeting, like Charles Widmore/ Caleb Nichol

and NFL linebacker Shawne Merriman, who was really good when he was on steroids, but stopped the steroids and started Tila Tequila, so now he’s on Entourage discussing how he would like to sing a free agent deal with a fictional team.

The meeting goes great! HOWEVER, Ari gets some unwelcome news when it turns out that Lizzie Grant is sniping his clients, but luckily not in the murder way. The plot of Gold thickens!

Drama has the most dramatically interesting part of the show. He tries to impress John Stamos so that Stamos will approve Drama for a TV show. Drama makes a bad impression by beating Stamos. Drama goes to set up another match. He could have won but he THROWS THE MATCH to get back on Stamos’s good side. In turn, Stamos decides that he will consider Drama for the role. So, you’re telling me there’s a chance!

Next week: Usual great Entourage-ness! Peace, y’all!

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