Gossip Girl: You Have No Faith In Medicine

Gossip Girl gave us a bit of a cliffhanger last week. Jenny and Chuck knew something was AFOOT. Obviously, they realized that Dr. William Van Der Wood Sen was up to no good. No? They didn’t realize that? Not until about 9/16 through the episode? That makes sense. These are Gossip Girl characters, after all.

To be fair, there were some side trips along the MapQuest recommended route of this week’s journey. It’s like Serena Van Der Woodsen says, “Life is what happens while you are being an unreasonable hypocrite who does not fully understand the concept of clothing.”

If there is one thing this episode emphasizes, it is TEAMWORK. First, everyone teams up to accuse Rufus of adultery. Later, everyone teams up to out-sleuth William Van Der Woodsen. There are some unlikely team-ups. By “unlikely” team-up, I mean ones that are not really surprises but more likely putting together some characters who have not been together onscreen for a while (Whassup, Dan & Serena reunion!).

There is also a lot of law-breaking. At one point, Serena helps her father evade the police. Maybe she will go to prison for this. And then she can defer prison for a year while she works for a PR company/ Political Campaign/ Carter Baizen Amnesty.

Blair has a fun week. She is scared because her date with New Rugby Boy, Cameron, will be her first REAL date. I think Blair’s anxiety is probably a good way to take her mind off of her relationship with Chuck, aka the 24/7 Eyes Wide Shut reenactment.

Chuck (and eventually everyone) meddles with Blair’s good times though. While Blair and her date are doing typical date things like sitting on the coach and going over syllabi (what), Chuck/Dan/Nate come in and implore her detective skills. She relents. Rugby Boy understands. The band is back together!

Blair also has my favorite line of lines ever (Sorry Ernest Hemingway – When Gossip Girl came, even the false Gossip Girl, there were no problems except where to be happiest) and that line is “No way another Upper Eastsider would schtup Rufus.” Truth is beauty and beauty, that line.

Vanessa’s already started her internship with CNN Haiti (“This is Vanessa Abrams reporting that things are . . . still bad. This has been Vanessa Abrams reporting”) so Dan keeps himself in check this week. He has more time to make faces and do this

He also betrays his friend Nate by accompanying Serena to say goodbye to her father. Bad friend, Dan!

Nate spends most of the episode following his hunch that his girlfriend’s dad is an asshole. He’s right! Serena is so upset with his correctness. She then takes her own personal frustrations out on Nate. Eventually, this leads Nate into Jenny Humphrey’s waiting arms.

Speaking of Jenny Humphrey, she is my favorite now. SHE JUST DON’T GIVE A FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. Sneaking out, stealing evidence, lying to her fellow detectives, admitting to things, calling Rufus out on his bullshit marriage (BRA-VO), and maybe fucking Nate can all be checked off of Jenny’s bucket list. If they ever re-write The Awakening, they should just write down Jenny’s story from this episode.

I really hope that she and Nate did get together. Some heavy petting at least. Every week, Nate puts up with Serena being angry with him for being correct about something. Jenny doesn’t play that game. She just wants to cuddle with Nate, no drama. I just want Nate to be happy. I just want Grandfather to be happy for him. Nate plays lacrosse.

Granted, Serena does have a tough week. After accusing her step-father of adultery (“I didn’t mean to hurt anyone!” – Serena thinking it is opposite day as she meant to hurt everyone), she finds out that the adultery was a clever (not clever) scheme by her father to use a reoccurrence of her mother’s lymphoma (oh, that’s what it was) to get back with his ex-wife.

Eric has the rational response of “Does this mean mom is not sick?” Serena has the response of “But can’t Dad stay?” No, Serena. He has to go to Teterboro since he is a crook and an awful doctor and your favorite.

Lily and Rufus get back together. As mentioned above, Jenny gives them a harsh dose concerning their marriage. It doesn’t sink in, obviously. I mean, these are people who thought letting their ex-husband doctor them and calling a band Lincolnhawke were good ideas. So, whatever, they get what is coming to them. I am surprised that neither the Van Der Woodsen gene nor the Humphrey gene were weeded out by natural selection. I guess because evolution is not real. Thanks for the science lesson, Gossip Girl!

NEXT WEEK: With all the plot lines resolved (well, most, as Jenny and Nate have to HIT THAT), Georgina comes back! She is on the lamb. Or the lam. One of the two.

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