LOST: WHAT WE KNOW NOW!11

It seems like every time Lost has an episode that isn’t about Ricardus/Jacob/Desmond/Nikki & Paolo, people get upset. Well, HURLEY WILL CHANGE YOUR MIND. His episodes are good! Maybe I am just a Hurley fan to the MAX but I think he has great episodes! This episode had so many good things! Answers! Returning characters! Explosions! Car chases, sort of! It’s like the Road Dogg Jesse James used to say: “Oh, you didn’t know?” HERE’S WHAT WE KNOW NOW!

1). Hurley’s life was different in the other LA.

He was lucky. No duuuuuuuuuuuuuh, Lost.

Only the luckiest guys get huge scissors.

2). The Alternaverse is arranged carefully.

For example, AlternaMiles mentioned that his dad worked at the museum, and now we see him at the museum. Good job, Lost script supervisor!

3). “Waaaaaaaaalt! I mean, Huuuuuuuurlllllleeeeeeeey!”

Ipso facto,

In reality, I am glad that the producers and writers of Lost have developed so many devices that let us catch up with some of our favorite departed characters. Unfortunately, there is no device to reconcile everyone with Mr. Eko. 😦

4). The way Althurley and AlternaLibby interact seems, at first, like the basis for a bad Farrelly brothers film.

The part that got me though was when this dude popped up,

Totally thought that President Robert Kelly was going to cock block these star-crossed lovers. Turns out, he just had to make sure Libby was on the bus back to the mental hospital. I hope it was a fun field trip, all things considered.

5). Enough dynamite to destroy the cockpit and the instruments is not enough to stop Edward Smocke and the Magnetic Widmores.

So, I am thinking that Smocke isn’t going to “fly” the plane off The Island the way you and I think of flying. It’s more of a metaphorical flying. An atmosphere of soaring if you will.

6). Four sticks of dynamite is enough to do this

Bye, Ilana! Thanks for hanging out! Sorry about not protecting Jacob or your pals. 😦

I think that was an homage to this

7). Fake Locke doesn’t sleep; he waits.

Good things come to him that way. Like a nicely gift-wrapped Scotsman.

8). Hurley and Ricardus have very different ideas about how to go about this final season stuff.

Hurley’s all “I wanna talk it out.” And then Richard is all “LESS TALK, MORE BLACK ROCK.” Then Hurley is all “I love using all this dynamite.” Then, Richard is all like “I don’t wear eye-liner and WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!”

9). Neal Schweiber’s life took some wrong turns.

AlternaDesmond is the game master, as well! Pushing Hurley in the right direction! Among other things. . .

Also, his order number was FORTY-TWO!

10). Regular Desmond is not afraid of any version of Locke.

11). Althurley decides the best way to track down the girl of his dreams is by donating a new wing to her mental health facility.

Just like classic films such as Pretty Woman and She’s All That, right?

12). Everytime Hurley and Libby are together, I get all

13). Is this kid like the naked American Indian in Wayne’s World 2?

14). Team Richard! Team Hurley! Which FACTION are you in?

Smooth cons by Hurley as well. He must have learned some things from his boy, Sawyer.

On the one hand, we have Faction Richard (Miles/Ben/Richard). On the other hand, we have Faction Hurley (Jack/Sun/Lapidus/Hurley). I don’t know about you, but I would follow Lapidus into the eye of a hurricane, during the middle of a blizzard.

Hey guys, remember how Sun can’t speak? Lost did!

15). Jack seems to believe that you can’t change the past. You can only life your life, TI style.

Good lessons that run parallel to the ghosts on the Island, Jack.

Speaking of which, HERE’S AN ANSWER: The whispering does not come from the Others; it comes from the ghosts! They are stuck on the Island because of what they did. In Michael’s case, he shot Ana Lucia and Libby. The ones who can’t move on. Perhaps they are truly the ones who are LOST (See what I did there?).

16). Hurley and Libby finally have their picnic.

Good work, AlternaDesmond! Every time two people who are meant to be together from the Island get together in Bizarro LAnd, a Desmond gets his wings. Or cool sunglasses.

17). Smocke’s sending his love down that well.

Just like when Ben put Locke in that pit!

18). Hurley: “Let’s hug it out, bitch.”

Showdown! I wish Jin was there for this reunion. Stupid Widmore.

Edward seems really concerned with Jack.

19). What’s this, another jaunt into the Alternaverse?

Oh, hey, it’s Dr. Linus trying to enforce Megan’s Law. Good work, Dr. Linus. It’s a good school, he says, I guess that settles it here, wait a second, why aren’t you slowing down –

QUESTIONS WE STILL HAVE:

-Why is Richard’s wife’s ghost on the Island? Why can’t she move on? She was never really on the Island!

-Did Jin and Widmore get the day off?

-WIll this lying about Jacob come back to haunt Hurley?

-WHAT THE HECK, ALTERNADESMOND?

BONUS: Javaman’s Double Entendre about his favorite characters and science

“The truest honesty between Desmond and Locke gives me an electromagnetic orgasm.”

DOUBLE BONUS ESPRESSO SHOT OF JAVAMAN

“Episode A – what do we do, I don’t know! Episode B – what do we do, I don’t know! Episode today – what do we do, I don’t know! Finale – what did we do?!?!”

NEXT WEEK: The last recruit! Like the last boy scout and action hero!

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