LOST: WHAT WE KNOW NOW!8

Last night on Lost, we got some answers. The BUZZ on the internet indicates that people are satisfied with the episode (a really good one!) and its answers. However, there is the possibility that as Lost reveals more of itself, the mystery and intrigue of the show may disappear. This is price Lost has to pay.

BUT, last night’s episode was a good episode. Richard Alpert! Ricardo! Ricardus? What is this Latin class? No, it is WHAT WE KNOW NOW!

1. Richard is neither a tale as old as time nor a song as old as rhyme.

In fact, his story mostly starts in the year 1867 on the Canary Islands. His wife is sick, he accidentally kills the best doctor in all the Canary Islands, and then his life sort of turns into that movie, The Mission.

2. Tupac and Richard have something in common.

Only God can judge them.

3. Some stuff on the Island happens before we go back in time.

Bullet points!

  • Ilana and Jacob have the same discussion they always have, except Ricardus (hehe “Ricardus”).
  • Hurley is talking to a person in the Spanish language. This person is not Paolo. This person is not Ana Lucia (Always with the making us racist, Lost).
  • Ben knows something is fishy with Richard. Jack is pushy. Lapidus is great. There should be a spin-off involving Frank Lapidus opening a Tiki Bar somewhere. I would watch for all the seasons. Back to the back!

4. The New World in 1867 refers to remote islands in the South Pacific.

So, they had to travel around the Americas or Africa to get there? This is the thing that confused me most about the episode.

Also, Alvar Hanso’s great-great-great-great-grand cousin was Magnus Hanso, captain of the Black Rock! Call me Captain Hanso; I can pilot the Black Rock.

5. This is how the statue was broken

Just kidding. The Black Rock actually broke it. Sure Lost.

6. Stabbing people is a Hanso family tradition.

Which brings us this great exchange:

(During the stabbings)

TMcG: “I don’t think I have the stomach for this.”

Me: “Neither do the prisoners.”

7. The Smoke Monster always sees opportunity in praying people.

And then he gets into impersonating wives, faking the murder of these wives, pick-pocketing crosses, and trying to get these people to stab other people before they can speak (whoa, parallel).

8. This guy always seems so nice.

But then, you know, murder, black smoke, manipulation, etc.

9. Ancient Jacob seems like a dick.

Plot, FOILED.

10. Answers? Answers!

  • The Island is a place where Jacob brings people to prove their goodness, but Edward tries to make them murderers (because they kill time).
  • The Island is the cork in the wine bottle of evil.
  • The Island is not Hell (thank gosh).
  • Jacob is a bully who gives people swirlies.
  • Jacob is not the Devil.
  • Richard is a middle manager of free will.

11. Wait a sec, the Island is the Hellmouth? I THINK A TELEVISION SHOW ALREADY DID THIS, GUYS.

12. Jacob can’t bring people back from the dead. Jacob can’t absolve sins. HOWEVER, his touch causes immortality which eventually you will regret.

So, if his touch is immortality, are Sayid, Jin, Sun, Jack, Locke, Kate, Sawyer, and Hurley all immortal?

13. No harm, no foul says Smocke/Edward.

“Come back anytime, Ricardus! Here’s an heirloom.”

14. Hurley was talking to Isabella, Ricardo’s wife!

Awwwwwwww. She is the love giver. She is the purposeful mission giver.

15. Edward just wants to leave, guy!

Vicious murder cycle over here.

16. SMASH!

“Sooner than you think”? When was that bottle smash?

QUESTIONS WE STILL HAVE:

– When/ why was he called “Ricardus”?

– So, Jacob hates manipulating people but he has no problems manipulating people to have planes crash or ships crash? Unless, maybe the Man in Black impersonated the guy who made Desmond crash Oceanic 815? Or not. Confused.

-Ricardus sounds like LAPIDUS. Is Lapidus immortal?

– We have the hell stakes now, but what about Widmore, Faraday, Dharma, Hanso, and everything else?

– Walt? Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalt!

BONUS: Teresa’s Thoughts of the Week

“DO PIGS EAT HUMANS?”

“Is that coke? Is this Gossip Girl?”

“Jacob has kind of harsh teaching methods.”

DOUBLE BONUS: Javaman’s Double Entendre concerning Lost and not sending mixed signals.

“They are no way in hell. Let’s move on.”

NEXT WEEK: Sun and Jin episode! One of them looks to be in TROUBLE.

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One thought on “LOST: WHAT WE KNOW NOW!8

  1. Trevor says:

    Excellent as always. Apparently Teresa has never seen Snatch.

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