A Bad Week for Love (c): Nursing Those Wounds

[picapp align=”none” wrap=”false” link=”term=kate+winslet&iid=8039051″ src=”9/c/0/3/Orange_British_Academy_3307.jpg?adImageId=11423792&imageId=8039051″ width=”234″ height=”352″ /] [picapp align=”none” wrap=”false” link=”term=sandra+bullock&iid=8205835″ src=”e/7/b/0/Sandra_Bullock_Best_db03.jpg?adImageId=11423892&imageId=8205835″ width=”234″ height=”351″ /]

They say it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. That does not mean that it does not hurt when that love leaves. When two people in the loving tangles of each other’s lives break that connection, there are pieces left in each other’s hearts and minds. For example, even though Bruce Willis and Demi Moore are on amicable terms, it may still hurt Mr. Willis when the strong arms of strapping Asthon Kutcher wrap Demi to keep her warm during the stormy nights. Maybe they are called feelings because we can’t help how they feel.

In the case of a more difficult split, such as Sandra Bullock’s recent troubles, the old pain of nostalgia may not burn as much as the current rage. Hopefully for Sandra, this pain will pass and her life will be more fulfilling. She will win more Oscars and Razzies. She will love again.

Kate Winslet is also going through a tough time with her marriage to Sam Mendes ending. While the details aren’t as public as Ms. Bullock’s situation, her pain is not admirable. If I learned anything from Titanic though, it was to be as unsinkable as the Unsinkable Molly Brown when life throws a curve berg your way.

In an effort to help both Bullock and Winslet work past this pain, I have prepared a list of specific pick-up lines one may use to try and be a loving and caring rebound for either woman.

“Miss Winslet,

I will be your The Reader.”

-Let’s walk down a Revolutionary Road that doesn’t end in heartbreak.”

-You brighten my day like an Eternal Sunshine.”

-I loved you in The Holiday. I’d love you tenderly on holiday.”

-I’d rather be your whore than anyone else in the room’s wife.” (This would work particularly well if Billy Zane or Leonardo DiCaprio were in the room)

-If I was a foreman in your mills, I would do anything you command.”

“Miss Bullock

Look at thee! It’s Sandra B! I saw Grease once. Do you like musicals?”

-I have a The Proposal that involves a lovely evening.”

While You W[ould Be] Sleeping, I’d prepare you a pancake feast with three kinds of syrup. Also, I would do your laundry.”

-I’ve heard All About Steve but I would like to hear all about you.”

-Would you like to come to my The Lake House? I bet you will hear your future calling or writing there.”

-I see you are drinking champagne. Can I interest you in a cigarette and some Speed 2: Cruise Control?”

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2 thoughts on “A Bad Week for Love (c): Nursing Those Wounds

  1. Javaman says:

    Are you in The Net because you’re a great catch

  2. Brooke says:

    Because you didn’t want to infringe on copyright laws here are some more suggestions

    I would love to Find your Neverland

    OR (for Sandy)
    I’m giving you my Two Weeks Notice for falling in love
    How about we go home and talk about all those Divine Secrets in your Ya Ya Sisterhood?

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