People Say Music Videos are Dead, but I Point Them Here and Say “Exhibits All, Sir or Madame.”

There are so many things happening in my eyes right now. Joy, most of all. Let us discuss.

1. First of all, I have been waiting for this video with about the same excitement as when the Babies trailer came out. However, Gaga broke my heart a little bit. When the date for the release of the video was announced, I put it in all of my day planners and calendars.  Then, March 11th came with no new “Telephone” video. As it turned out, the video was to premiere at 9PM Pacific Time, which equals midnight real time. Admittedly, I felt betrayed. You are tearing me apart, Gaga! In life, I have found, that even the ones who love us sometimes let us down, not for malicious or even conscious reasons. Things happen and we forgot the little obligations and meanings we have to those in our lives. Maybe, you forget to pick up the popcorn for movie night, maybe you don’t your softest sweatshirt by accident, maybe you have to work late and miss watching Jeopardy! next to the person with whom you always watch Jeopardy! While these actions are not immense, they have a different (potentially hurtful) effect. In our lives, we are both the victims and guilty of such moves. So, today, the Gaga wore a little on my heart.

My feelings of hurt were erased when I saw this video.

2. I thought that after this

Beyonce and Gaga would have a tough time doing another memorable video. I was mistaken, so mistaken.

3. This is my favorite use of Tyrese in a music video since the first ten seconds of

4. Could the use of the Pussy Wagon signal that Gaga and Beyonce will be the focus of Quentin Tarantino’s next Kill Bill film? I hope.

5. I think I recognize that diner from an episode of NCIS and from

There are so many allusions in the Telephone video. It’s like Lost.

6. “Telephone” is probably one of the more straightforward Lady Gaga songs. I am really glad that the relative directness of the song did not influence the video. If given a large dry eraseboard and a period of twenty days and a twenty-day-long hallucination, I could not come up with anything as interesting as the concept for this video. It is like Oz meets The Shawshank Redemption meats Thelma & Louise meets the video for Nelly’s “Ride with Me” meets Top Chef meets sandwich dances. Speaking of ‘wich. . .


8. There is a lot of Gaga in this video, which we usually don’t see. I mean, usually Gaga wears things like the cigarette glasses (!) for  the whole video.  In this one, she is presented bare to the world. Symbols! Also, I am confused why Gaga can say “fuck” but Beyonce can’t. There are levels to this video that I may/will never get.

9. TO BE CONTINUED!?  Sorry, Avatar, looks like something else is going to be the most ground breaking film recording of all time.

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