Man, Lost, you must have read my recap last week because this week was fifty-four minutes of build up and eight minutes of getting the WHOOOOOOOOAS off. Cool stuff? Crazy reveals? Did anything really happen? Is Sawyer still dead? Are there answers? Depends on your definition of “answers.” Here’s WHAT WE KNOW NOW!
1. Boomerangs are a nice souvenir, but remember parents, they are not a toy. They are a WEAPON.
2. Sayid’s alternate reality is based on the Dane Cook/ Steve Carrell movie Dan In Real Life.
Not really, but tough break alterna-Sayid! The girl of your dreams is back but your bro liked it so he put a ring on it!
I am very upset he wasn’t visiting Shannon.
3. Sayid’s scale tipped the wrong way.
4. Sayid is leaving the temple. Now he’s coming back to the temple. Now he’s killing people and leaving the temple.
Make up your mind, Sayid!
5. Edward/Esau/Smocke is totally building up his army.
Claire! Sawyer! Jin! . . . SAYID?!
6. Sayid’s brother is not good at business.
I am sure if I had a torturer for a brother that I would also make awful decisions and hope my brother could murder his way out of them.
7. Miles knows more than he has been letting on.
I bet Miles knows everything about the Island, its secrets, the rules, but he is shy and can’t tell people. All he can do is play Tic Tac Toe.
8. Hurley and Jack are having a boys’ day out.
9. The key to Edsau’s power is saying hello.
It prevents him from getting stabbed.
Meanwhile in the Alternatime
Sayid is totally the father of Nadia’s children. Probably Shannon’s kids too.
10. Jack was in the hospital when Sayid visited.
I consider this a little whoa. A whoa to the level of
11. Ugh, Kate’s back.
Apparently, Kate will go with anyone now as she joins Smocke for no fucking reason. Ugh, Kate.
12. Fake Locke is poaching those sad kids.
So, he’s going to give Sayid Shannon/ Nadia back, Sawyer Juliet, Claire Aaron. Perhaps all things that exist in the ALTERNATIME? Fake Locke is the gatekeeper of the Alternatime.
13. THIS GUY’S BACK
13. Dogen made a mistake drowning in his sorrow/ booze/ Lazarus Pit. Baseball!
And Jacob promised him what Esau is promising everyone else? Hmmmmm.
14. SHIT GETS REAL.
Lots of blood. Lots of death. Lots of almost reuniting Jin and Sun. Lots of choosing sides! Lots of Claire faces.
15. The Smoke Monster cannot go down holes.
16. Frank Lapidus is great at kicking ass.
Sidebar: Who thought Ben was going to die? This guy did. I am glad he did not. But judging by the preview, next week does not look good for everyone’s favorite alternatime European history teacher.
17. Sayid gets weird.
Maybe it is significant that Ben and Sayid were both revived in the temple AND that Ben says “There’s still time.” but Sayid says “Not for me.” So, at least there is still time for Ben!
QUESTIONS WE STILL HAVE:
-Is it real Sayid or Darkness Sayid in there?
-Is Jack still looking at the ocean?
-Is Sawyer macking the biggest con in all of Consville on Smocke? I gotta feeling!
-What happens now that people are out of the temple?
-When does Boone get back to the Island?
-Is the Kwon on the list Sun, Jin, or child Kwon?
BONUS: Teresa’s thoughts of the week
” I hope Sayid’s bro dies! I know, I feel bad for saying that.”
NEXT WEEK: Ben.