Apparently, the Lost producers heard the cries of the internet, because KATE WAS NOT IN THIS EPISODE. Good move, producers of Lost. HERE IS WHAT WE KNOW NOW.
1. In the alternate reality, John Locke is Charlie Brown.
Man, most of the time we see Locke in this time, he is down, out, or down and out. However, he is engaged to Helen. You go, alternate reality Locke!
2. Locke is still cool with his dad in the alternate reality.
THEN HOW DID HE GET IN THE CHAIR?!
3. Locke went on a walkabout on the company’s dime.
Randy Nations is pissed.
4. They say the word “lost” so much on this show now.
Sample dialogue – “Hey man, can you help me find my LOST set of keys?”
“LOST is never having to say you’re sorry.”
“I can’t tell you that. It’s confidential! Anyway, how’s your LOST life?”
“You know what they say, LOST is blind.”
5. The smoke monster travels so fast! He can even teleport sort of? Or maybe he was just moving fast.
I’m glad the producers also gave us SMOKE-VISION. I haven’t seen that sort of thing since the big screen adaptation of Doom.
6. In either reality, Hurley is magnanimous.
7. Ben Linus is a liar. A liar. His pants are aflame.
In regards to the killing Jacob part.
8. Sawyer is the one who searches AND destroys.
Guy was going on a bender like his name was Tim Riggins and Lyla Garrity just left.
9. Sawyer sees through Fake Locke’s demeanor of courage.
Really, though, was not fake Locke scared all the time? Sure, there were some moments were he was kind of unsure, but he basically started giving himself to the Island on day four. However, there was that whole making Boone (never forget) go into the Mr. Eko’s brother’s drug plane, so Sawyer has a point.
10. John Locke can park where he wants. This is alternate reality America, dammit!
11. There is a small child running around the island.
Who could this be? New Jacob? Aaron? The spirit of the island? A new Canadian pop sensation? DON’T TELL ME WHAT I CAN’T DO, CHILD OF THE CORN!
12. Richard Alpert is FREAKING THE FUCK OUT, man.
Is Sawyer getting played? Maybe. Fake Locke wants everyone dead! Everyone! What a meanie.
Rose, off the island! Sassy as ever. Locke is all “I want to work construction.” to which Rose responds “I am not a foreman in one of your mills that you can command. I am your boss.”
14. Not Real Locke is stuck as Not Real Lock.
15. Ben Linus regrets things.
Frank says it’s the weirdest funeral he has ever been to. It sounds like he says “weirdest show.” Both are accurate.
16. Locke’s alarm clock is the sound of the Hatch alarm.
17. Locke gives Jack Shepherd the Jerky Boys treatment.
“Is your refrigerator running, Jack? Well, YOU HAVE TO GO BACK . . . and catch it.”
18. THE DELIVERY BOY IS WALT.
19. Locke got caught up in an Australian period scheme to sell knives.
However, even in this reality, Locke couldn’t go on the walkabout. However, he can have meaningful realizations, so good for him. He is in love!
20. The cave is the Island’s version of a burn book.
So the numbers = candidates = people who can be the next Jacob? Sawyer (15), Locke (4), Hurley (8), Sayid (16), Jack (23), and one of the Kwons (42) (Jin, because of all males? Sun and Jin’s child?!) There was one girl on the whole Island who was not on the cave list, and that was Kate! Kate wrote the burn book! Also, Desmond was on the wall?
21. Walt was the child in the school!
22. Half of this season is going to be surprise at Others who are living normal lives.
when Ben came on screen as a teacher (He loves European history!). Is Juliet going to show up as a stripper? Mr. Friendly as a male stripper? We will see.
23. Sawyer is Team Edward.
QUESTIONS STILL REMAINING:
-What numbers were Nikki, Paolo, and Boone?
– Were there really answers this week, or were we just happy there was no Kate?
BONUS: Teresa’s Lost Speculation of the week:
-“Kate is awful anyway. We don’t want her on the list.”