Friday Night Lights: Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can’t Score an Offensive Touchdown

I don’t know what this high school football thing is and frankly I don’t care. Long Island has a different national local pass time. That pass time is the official sport of Canada – lacrosse. Ever heard of it? Of course. Did you catch that local Major League Lacrosse game last evening? My word, that was some intense action.

Speaking of Major League Lacrosse, Friday Night Lights is back on TV. During football season! Not familiar with west Texas high school football? Here’s a video that will tell you everything.

Now, to the third episode of Friday Night Lights. . .

The first thing that needs to be said about this show is that it has one of the oddest airing histories in television (because I have consulted television historians for this). It started out on NBC but then the Writer’s Strike happened (which was like the dog-ate-my-homework of 2007-2008) so the second season was cut short. Then, for the third season, things went B-A-N-A-N-A-S and new episodes premiered on a channel exclusive to DirectTV. They were rerun in the spring on NBC. The fourth season is airing on Channel 101 on DirectTV.

Whew.

The fourth season takes a cue from shows like Lost and Fringe and Alias by focusing on the mysterious circumstances that have lead to a fault line opening in the town of Dillon, Texas.

I feel the earth move under my feet. I feel the sky tumbling down, a-TUMBLING DOWN. Not really. The crack is a metaphor!

At the end of last season, Coach Taylor (Kyle Chandler aka the guy that got blowed up in the Super Bowl episode of Grey’s Anatomy) did not have a job because The School Board decided that his record of 24-5 was NOT GOOD ENOUGH. However, his wife/ principal of Dillon High School finagled a job for Coach Taylor at East Dillon High School. Now, Coach Taylor has to rebuild the team from scratch.

And man, did he have to scratch this week! First, Coach Taylor makes his team push a convertible around town to collect money for the team, which actually loses money. Next, Coach Taylor has to lie to his wife in order to pay off a bookie from Under Armour (We must protect this financial asset!). Times are tough for the Coach. His players are uppity since he forfeited their first game, his star players hate each other, his assistant coach is a borderline psychotic, and the principal of East Dillon tells him that he was never supposed to accept the coach job.

Principal Tami Taylor has problems of her own. Last week, her high school booed her because of the reassignment of Dillon’s Luke Cafferty to East Dillon. Also, the Dillon Panthers boosters keep vaguely threatening her. And her daughter Julie starts asking questions about hypocrisy and church. So, not a good week for Tami.

Julie and her boyfriend, former QB1, current hopeful artist, Matt Saracen are going through problems. Love on the rocks. Matt starts interning for a local artist, who is totally an asshole (as most artists are) and says that Julie is holding Matt back. This continues Matt’s story from last year where he decides not to move to Chicago because of his grandma. Matt’s grandma must have gone on a long cruise or something because she has not shown up yet this season.  It leaves Matt Saracen free to deliver pizzas, go to parties with Julie, get into fist fights with the Dillon quarterback, and be in movies with Alexis Bledel.

Speaking of former Panther football players, let’s check in with Tim Riggins.

Step into my trailer. Would you like to see my championship ring?

BMOC (Big Man on Campus) to end all BMOC’s (Big Men on Campuses) Tim Riggins was going to college. Then he realized you were right, the collegiate business is too competitive. So, Riggins left school and drove back home in his own Riggins way (driving, not telling anyone, listening to kick ass tunes, throwing caution and textbooks to the wind). When his family kicks him out, Tim starts renting a trailer from a bartender he fucks one time. The bartender also has a daughter named Becky who likes competing in beauty pageants. This ensures both a seamless transition from Friday Night Lights to Drop Dead Gorgeous: The Series and also a weird/creepy dynamic between Tim and a high school girl.

Now, I try not and judge lest I be judged, but Tim doesn’t exactly have the best track record with situations involving ladies being around him (case in point: fucking his paraplegic best friend’s girlfriend) so this thing with Becky probably won’t end well. In an effort to avoid messing things up, Tim tries to set Becky up with BMOC-in-training Luke Cafferty. But Luke is more concerned with getting out of this town and football is the ticket to that and why doesn’t Coach Taylor GET him?!?!?!?!?!?!

Finally, Dillon High Panther Booster Buddy Garrity goes off the proverbial deep end (from the proverb with the swimming pool). He tells all these new boosters that he is an OG booster and they can all go blow a cactus (in so many words). Especially new head Dillon Panther Booster Joe McCoy.

"Hey, everyone, let's go to a Pop Warner game!"What an asshole.

Other things that happen: racial tensions! the achievement gap! what it means to be a coach! where do we go from here!?

Next Week: More football, probably? Some disagreements. Also, Explosions in the Sky and more trendy music!

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